Acting as an Appropriate Adult for Your Child or Someone You Know
- tabatha6853
- Sep 25
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 30
Finding out that your child, relative, or someone close to you has been taken into police custody is an overwhelming experience. It’s even more daunting if you’re asked to act as their Appropriate Adult (AA). You might not know exactly what this role involves, whether you’re the right person for it, or what difference you can make.
In this blog, we’ll explain what it means to act as an Appropriate Adult for someone you know, why the role matters, and what to expect if you decide to step in.
What is an Appropriate Adult?
The Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984 (PACE) requires the police to call an Appropriate Adult (AA) if:
The person in custody is under 18.
The person is an adult who is considered vulnerable - for example, because of a learning disability, communication difficulties, or mental health needs.
An AA’s role is not to provide legal advice (that’s the solicitor’s job). Instead, you are there to safeguard the person’s welfare, rights, and understanding. That means:
Making sure they understand what’s happening.
Helping them communicate with the police.
Ensuring they are treated fairly and with dignity.
Intervening if things are unclear, rushed, or unfair.
Why might the police ask you?
If your child or relative has been detained, the police may first approach a parent, guardian, or other family member to act as their Appropriate Adult. This is because the law recognises that familiar faces can often provide comfort and reassurance during stressful situations.
However, it’s not compulsory for you to take on this role. If you don’t feel able to do it - for example, because of the nature of the offence, the relationship you have with the person, or the emotional impact it might have - you can decline. In these cases, the police should arrange for a trained, independent Appropriate Adult (from organisations like ours) to attend.
What happens if you say yes?
If you agree to act as an Appropriate Adult, you’ll be asked to attend the police station. The process may take several hours, and in some cases, longer.
You can expect to be present at key stages, including:
When the person’s rights are explained.
During any police interview.
When samples are taken (such as fingerprints or DNA).
If the police want to conduct an intimate search.
You also have specific rights as an AA, such as:
The right to speak to the person privately.
The right to ask for a solicitor on their behalf, even if they have declined one.
The right to see the custody record.
The right to pause an interview if communication breaks down or if you believe procedures are not being followed fairly.
What difference can you make?
For a child, teenager, or vulnerable adult, custody can be frightening and confusing. Without support, they may not understand their rights, may struggle to communicate, or may even say things that don’t reflect what really happened.
By being present, you:
Provide reassurance. Your familiar presence can reduce stress and help them stay calmer.
Safeguard fairness. You can make sure their rights are explained properly and that they’re not pressured into saying something they don’t understand.
Bridge communication gaps. If they’re struggling to understand or to express themselves, you can step in and ensure they are heard.
Simply put, you help ensure that the criminal justice process is not only legal, but also fair and humane.
Challenges to be aware of
While the role is important, it’s not always easy. Acting as an AA for someone you love can be emotionally difficult - especially if the allegations are serious, or if the person is distressed. It can also take a long time; custody procedures often move slowly, and interviews may be delayed.
It’s also important to remember that your role is not to defend or excuse behaviour. You are there to safeguard welfare and rights, not to act as a solicitor. Sometimes, that balance can be challenging.
If you feel unable to take on the role, it is always acceptable to ask for an independent Appropriate Adult to step in.
Independent Appropriate Adults
Across the UK, there are trained Appropriate Adults available through organisations like ours - The Appropriate Adult Service (TAAS). These individuals are independent, impartial, and trained under PACE to handle complex situations.
Some families prefer to ask for an independent AA because:
They worry their emotions may get in the way.
The child or adult might feel more comfortable opening up to someone outside the family.
The case may involve sensitive circumstances that make it difficult for a family member to be present.
Choosing an independent AA does not mean you are failing your loved one - it means you are ensuring they get the best possible support.
Acting as an AA: step by step
If you’re asked to act as an Appropriate Adult, here are the basic steps to follow:
Arrive at the police station. You’ll be escorted to custody and briefed on the situation.
Speak to the detainee. Reassure them and check if they understand what’s happening.
Be present at key moments. Rights being read, interviews, and procedures like DNA swabs.
Intervene if needed. If things are moving too quickly, aren’t explained properly, or seem unfair, you can ask for clarification or pause proceedings.
Support throughout. Your role continues until the process ends and the person is either released or charged.
Why your role matters
Every year, thousands of children and vulnerable adults come into contact with the police. Without the safeguard of an Appropriate Adult, many would face the system without understanding their rights or being able to communicate effectively.
By stepping in, even just once, you are helping to protect fairness, dignity, and justice for someone who might otherwise be overwhelmed by the process.
Acting as an Appropriate Adult for your child, relative, or someone you know is a serious responsibility, but it can also be one of the most meaningful ways to support them during a difficult time.
Remember:
You’re not alone - you can always ask for a trained, independent Appropriate Adult if you feel it’s best.
Your role is about safeguarding rights, not giving legal advice.
Simply being present can make a huge difference.
At TAAS, we provide professional, independent Appropriate Adults to safeguard vulnerable people across the UK. If you’d like to know more about how the role works for families, the National Appropriate Adult Network (NAAN) has a helpful guide here: NAAN Guide for Families.
